certainly uncertain

what do i seek when i climb step after step on a hill that knows everything there ever is for me to know?

welcome to wonder

i'm on a week long trek into the Himalayas. you're invited alongside for precisely random thoughts spewed with supreme skill and utter contempt for clarity. if you wanna walk along with lackadaisical devotion you couldn't ask for a wilder playmate.

it's amusing that i don't even know what i seek or even whether i seek at all. is there a purpose behind the play when i jump into the playground? or maybe the burning desire of purpose is just a flickering spark, a tiny speck in the grand fireworks display that is creation?

cut the safety lines

it's probably annoying to be left with question marks at the end of every sentence when we're used to a life of certainty and safety. after all isn't that why we designed cities and build empires to grow this happy illusion. the playground is also built on the foundation of safety.

but the safety net can strangle as much as save. do you play life on the edge of the playground? making choices and decisions that are safe, for oneself and for others. do i dare spark danger into the game?

of course, any discussion around safety and danger brings up the question of responsibility. i have always loved to believe that i'm capable of making the decisions that decide my destiny. even when the world has vehemently opined otherwise, i've persevered. at great risk to my sense of self and the beautiful bonds that family, friends and society offer.

in service of soul

if individual freedom is indeed worth the bonds that comfort, support, and nurture then i've made the right trade-off. but in the depths of loneliness or solitude, i've faced the truth that happiness is only real when shared.

Christophe Porot was telling me how it is the duty of genius to serve society and i'm inclined to agree. despite the fact that i've detested society and it's tentacles for much of my life, my own realization maps perfectly onto his astute observation.

in fact my utter disgust for how the system works is my strongest ally as i seek to serve the society i scoff at. if you had to throw the book at me you'd no doubt use the DSM-5 and that only reinforces my sense of grandeur (delusions, you say?) and amusement at systemic impotence.

is there no end to my hubris, you may ask. how do you differentiate between self knowledge and self deception, i ask? the world we know is what we believe it to be. what if life is but a child's dream and you're both the puppet and the master at once? if you are still looking for a solid answer that will satisfy your desire for structure and safety, you're limiting yourself to side roles that don't bring joy to the dreams of our heavenly child.

fun, not fear is my fuel

should that fear of mediocrity compel you to take risks and explore your fears? not when you can jump into the unknown with vivacity and verve, drooling with delight at the infinite possibilities at play right here, right now.

every game in the playground of life is merely a toy to dabble or dribble with. if that's how you wanna explore, feel free to pick one and start. as for me, i'm here to play and while i enjoy toys as much as any other kid, i couldn't care less about making it mine and holding it close to my chest. you can build, break, steal or share toys. meanwhile i'm here to share the spirit of play, that's all i have and that's all you need.

be weird and wise