playing alpha - boss or bully?

the alpha gets a bad rep in most circles today and we don’t like to see dominant, strong and aggressive personalities having their way.

in the playground of life, we equate the alpha to the bully who’s always dominating games. so it’s no surprise that such an association is accepted. but that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

before we dig into alphas and betas, it’s important to understand that the game of life, we’re all playing needs players of all kinds.

hierarchy vs anarchy

anarchy is my favorite playground. in fact man sees the playground of earth as anarchic. but when you spend enough time in the playground and stay absolutely still, you’ll begin to see the patterns of hierarchy that exist.

ancient man recognized nature’s innate wisdom and adapted himself in harmony with his environment. he was grateful for the bountiful gifts of flora and played with fauna, either as friends or foes. grateful even for those he killed because they offered him life and helped him survive. he chose wisdom over knowledge.

modern man however refused to accept nature’s hierarchy and chose instead to dominate with his own hierarchy. the playground bully at his best, throwing his weight. imposing his will on nature’s design and demanding that everyone plays his game by his rules. he chose knowledge over wisdom.


Some of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by you
Some of them want to abuse you
Some of them want to be abused

our current obsession with flat hierarchies causes us to flinch and frown at any strong attempt to lead by dominance. but nature’s wisdom has created space for everyone to live in harmony.

in fact symbiotic BDSM relationships thrive on extremes of dominance and submission. the slave may serve the master but it’s a mutually acceptable role play. in the wild, we see animals living in harmony as per their assigned roles of predator and prey.

and even then it’s a game that each is equally capable of winning. the rabbit can flummox the fox. the deer can outrun the lion. in fact the lion doesn’t rule the jungle like man would like to believe. no one does. the wild is a decentralized space where all are interdependent to maintain individual existence in harmony.

callous or compassionate

we have begun to look at anyone with dominance as unnecessary or even evil. by doing so we stand to lose the wisdom of the elders, the competence of leaders and the aggression of trail blazers.

oversensitivity can cause dominant personalities to be shunned in society in favor of pliant people who are easy to get along with. that’s because we see bullies who pass off arrogance as aggression, thereby confusing the way strong personalities are perceived.

intention and action are both equally important while studying alphas. they are not callous but rather compassionate. the role of an alpha comes to fruition in crisis. when the tribe is plagued by an enemy (natural disaster or fellow man), it’s the alpha who exercises compassion to lead the entire tribe to safety instead of using his attributes and skills to escape himself.

know the game, know yourself

the sun don’t seek to be the moon and the moon doesn’t intend to outshine the sun. i’m speaking metaphorically here of course, not astronomically. what i’m saying is, know yourself. and shine effortlessly as you are.

betas are considered lower in the dominant hierarchy but hold equal value when you zoom out and see the big picture. in fact, all life on earth possesses equal value.

if you’re an alpha personality, tap into that and express yourself such. if you’re beta, don’t feel less than. remember anyone can win the game. and that’s why play is important to understand both as philosophy and as practice.  alphas have higher interaction quotient by virtue of their ability to initiate action, but without betas to join in, the game won’t go on.

if you’ve not guessed by now, i’m an alpha by nature. i have been an arrogant arsehole as a youth, but i’ve since grown into an aggressive but compassionate adult. i’m not ambitious in the least and don’t care about victory, but come into my own in times of crisis, leading those around me effortlessly to safety.

so that’s me. who are you? know yourself and play that role with aplomb. we need you in the playground of life. you need us in the playground of life.